Right Brained Gal

Happy Fourth of July

Happy Father's Day to the Father of my Children

Father's Day is beyond depressing for me.  I lost my father ten years ago and even though I had an inconsistent relationship with him, I knew that he was one of my best friends and loved me more than anything.  I can say the same thing for the father of my children - he definitely loves them as they love him - but the fact that he has hated me, and made my life a living hell, makes me question how genuinely he wanted the best for his daughters.

I divorced when my children were quite young, and I can honestly say it was an amicable divorce.  We were both done with each other, and admitted that we never should have married in the first place.  Enter the wicked step-mother and all bets were off.  From the moment she arrived on the scene, she made it known that she would be the one in control. She got involved in the divorce and tried to call all the shots. She decided early on that she would be the one to discipline my children. He and my daughters were equally afraid of her and didn't dare cross her.  Needless to say, it has been a living hell for me, with this woman that I despise, playing such an important part in my daughters' lives. It broke my heart when they would come home after a weekend at their place, crying because of what the stepmother had said or done.

No decision concerning the children, was ever made without him saying, "I have to ask (the stepmother) first."  In other words, she had the final say.  Anyone who is a mother, knows how infuriating it is, to have another woman decide what your child can and cannot do.  Mostly it had to do with finances, and needless to say, they could never afford anything, even thought I would have to pay half. 

Now that all is said and done and the children are adults, my ex-husband and I have very little to do with each other.  I miss the fact that I can't talk to him about the girls, the only person in this world who loves them as much as I do.  I am so hurt that he doesn't respect me or the fact that I raised his children while he was busy climbing the corporate ladder.  I resent the fact that his wife thinks that she raised my children when in fact, they resented felt uncomfortable spending time with her, and still do.

There are moments when we are thrown together, such as last Easter, when he and I connect like in the old days, and it is a magical moment for me.  But that is only when stepmother is not around, because the minute she shows her face, he puts on the cold shoulder towards me.  I know he is not allowed to have any connection with me, and it hurts.

I want to thank him for being a good father to my children and doing the best he knew how.  If I could offer any advice to divorced fathers, it would be:

• spend some alone time with your children without the stepmother.

• don't ever try to replace the biological mother with a stepmother, it just doesn't work and only causes resentment.

• have the balls to stand up to your wife when she doesn't have your child's best interest at heart.

• your ex-wife isn't the enemy, she did raise your children and loves them more than anything.

• money isn't everything.

Nothing can ever heal the wounds that were inflicted on all sides, and I have to accept the fact that life isn't fair.

Illustration Friday - Crave

The subject this week for Illustration Friday is crave.  I am craving the sun because this is the annual June Gloom time in Southern California, where the sun rarely comes out because of a thing called Marine Layer.  It is caused by the desert air, 100 miles East, heating up and rising, pulling in cool air off the Alaskan Current. It is especially prevelent along the ocean, which is where I now live.  I'll probably be wishing for it come July, when it is 100+ degrees and smoggy.

This is What One Million Dollars Will Buy You in Santa Monica, CA

Actually the price has been reduced to $999,999.  Granted, it's in a really nice neighborhood and only a block from the beach (minus a 500 foot drop), but it still lacks curb appeal! If the economy were better, this would have been bought by now, torn down and a huge house put in its place. I think the hose is included in the price.

Gratitude

Last week was my birthday and I am so grateful that I have such loving daughters and friends. Even though I don't like celebrating my birthday (I never have, even as a child) it's nice to feel loved.

Cooking with Julienne

One of the things I miss about living in San Marino is being able to stop by my favorite bistro, Julienne's for breakfast, lunch or takeout for dinner.  I fell in love with this place from the beginning and have always wished that I myself, could create such original recipes. The owner was a single mother of four daughters who started the bistro as a way to support them after a divorce. 

Her business thrived and she became one of the most popular caterers in all of Southern California. Her rosemary raisin bread, scones and brownies were legendary. The restaurant was a place for mom's to meet after carpool and a very trendy place for lunch.

Unfortunately the owner, Susan Campoy died a few months ago, but not before she wrote a cookbook of her favorite recipes, the ones that people like me could only dream of making.

I had read that her daughter's were having the book published and hopefully it would be ready for Mother's Day and mentioned it to my daughter. You can imagine how surprised I was to receive it for my Mother's day present, thanks to my daughter who went to the restaurant Saturday morning, and stood in line to get a copy.  I am sure that all of Pasadena was in line that morning, having anxiously awaited this cookbook for over twenty years. Although I haven't made anything yet, I have read it from cover to cover many times. 

If you are ever in the Pasadena area, I recommend you stop by for a great breakfast or lunch and to buy a copy of her cookbook.  The bistro is going to be run by her daughter Julie, who has been her partner for a few years now.  If you would like to order this book on line you can do it here.

The Best Hike in California

My daughter Erin was visiting from Chicago a few weeks ago, and for a few fabulous days, I got to hang out with both my daughters and son-in-law. One day we decided to go hiking, and since my daughter Shannon and her husband are almost professional hikers, I almost backed out. Then I found out we were going to Point Dume, which is a relatively easy hike, and also one of the most spectacular views in all of Southern California. It was a beautiful, relaxing day, full of memories that I will cherish forever.

Going Back in Time for a Great Breakfast

I am not a morning person. I hate all things related to that time of day.  I especially don't like breakfast and the smell of fried eggs are enough to send my stomach into convulsions. It may be deep rooted in the fact that breakfast was mandatory when I was growing up.  My mother cared less about causing clogged arteries, than she did about going to school with an empty stomach.  I tried to convince her that greasy fried eggs, bacon and sausage were not the healthiest way to start the day, and I would much rather have the leftover pizza instead. Since morning wasn't the best time of day for her either, we spoke as little as possible, avoiding conflict that would put in me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.  I just learned to eat at the last minute, fill my mouth as full as I possibly could, then spit it out as soon as I got outside. I loved it when there was snow on the ground, cause I could hide the evidence a lot quicker.

I was not real excited when my daughters and son-in-law suggested we stop for breakfast before we went on a hike. Especially when they suggested Patrick's Roadhouse, the quintessential hole in the wall and eyesore, that graces Pacific Coast Highway in Santa Monica. I have driven past this neon green landmark for as long as I can remember, never once having the urge to eat there. You can imagine my surprise when we went inside and I saw it was like eating in a funky antique shop, complete with framed memorabilia, knickknacks, and furniture that takes you back to garage sales, 50 years ago. It was something you would find in the middle of Washington State, not a stone's throw away from the beach in Malibu, California.
We chose to eat outside to enjoy the beautiful day, the ocean view and the air pollutants from the traffic on Pacific Coast Highway. Inside, the atmosphere was cozy, with locals reading the newspaper, and using the many board games lying around.  I don't want to say the service is slow, but you could take in a whole game of Monopoly before your breakfast arrives. There were tributes to Arnold Schwarzenegger everywhere, who was a regular before becoming Governator of California.  He has a table with his name on it, along with his special breakfast on the menu. Speaking of the menu, it was a - never met a carb I didn't like - kind of menu, with everything from sun dried tomato omelets, to caviar topped cheeseburgers. It was a little chaotic, not unlike the decor, but there was something for everyone and a lot more appealing that I would have imagined. The atmosphere is so casual, you could show up in your robe and slippers, and no one would blink an eye.

We didn't see anyone famous this time, but I hear it is a hang out for celebrities who love the eccentric atmosphere. Suffice it to stay, I still hate breakfast, but I can eat a bowl of fresh fruit, followed by a single multi-grain pancake, when I have to.

Happy Birthday to my Sister Cindy

Today is my only sister CIndy's birthday and I want to wish her a Happy Birthday and thank her for being such a good friend. I know we fought like hell when we were kids, but things really mellowed out when my mom died and we formed a special bond from then on. My sister is someone who has know me all her life, and still wants to spend time with me. That's what you call a real friend.

La Sylphide

This weekend I attended the Los Angeles Ballet production of La Sylphide at UCLA and was reminded of how much I enjoy dance, especially the grace and smooth precision of ballet.  La Sylphide contained everything I crave in a love story: romance, betrayal, heartbreak and a witch. Watching ballet is like getting a massage with feathers. Grace and beauty accompanied by music.  Telling a story, without a word spoken.

It was a beautiful day, and since we got there early, we were able to take in the beauty and enormity of the UCLA campus. Since most of the students were gone for the three day weekend (UCLA is on the quarter system) it was empty and very peaceful.  My oldest daughter attended UCLA for post graduate work and would have appreciated the amount of parking that was available today.

Thank You, Martha

I had to bring a dessert to a Memorial Day party and since fresh raspberries and strawberries are everywhere, I decided to make this recipe from Martha Stewart Living magazine.  It was perfect, and so good accompanied with fresh whipped cream.  I highly recommend it. I have to admit, I didn't roll the pastry, I just pressed it into the tart pan, and it turned out great. Here is the recipe compliments of Martha Stewart.

Raspberry Custard Tart

• Pate brisee (recipe below)
  
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour, plus more for surface
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1 pound (3 1/2 cups raspberries, plus more for garnish
  
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
  
  Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Roll pate brisee to 1/8-inch thickness on a lightly floured surface. Fit into a 9-inch pie dish, and trim edges, leaving a 1-inch overhang. Tuck overhang under so edges are flush with rim, and crimp edges. Prick bottom of dough with a fork. Freeze for 15 minutes. Line dough with parchment, and fill with pie weights or dried beans. Bake until edges begin to turn gold, 25 to 30 minutes. Remove weights and parchment. Bake until crust is light gold and cooked through, 10 to 15 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack.
2. Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees. Whisk flour and 1/2 cup sugar in a medium bowl. Add egg and cream, and whisk to combine. Toss raspberries, remaining cup sugar, and the salt in a medium bowl. Spoon berries into crust, then pour in cream mixture, filling to just below the rim.
3. Bake until custard is set but still a bit wobbly in the center, about 45 minutes. Let cool in dish on a wire rack. Cover, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours (or up to 1 day). Garnish with fresh raspberries, and serve cold.

Pate Brisee

Makes one 9-inch crust

• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
  
• 1/2 teaspoon sugar
  
• 4 ounces (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
• 2 to 4 tablespoons ice water
  

Directions

1. Pulse flour, salt, and sugar in a food processor until combined. Add butter, and process until mixture resembles coarse meal, about 10 seconds. With the machine running, add ice water in a slow, steady stream until mixture just begins to hold together.
2. Shape dough into a disk, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour (or up to 2 days).

Happy Memorial Day

As a young girl growing up in Pennsylvania, I remember going to the cemetery with my mother, sister, aunt and cousins to plant flowers on my uncle and maternal grandparents graves.  It was an annual ritual that celebrated the beginning of summer, while paying our respect to our deceased family members.  I am many miles away from Pennsylvania, so there is no way I can visit my parents graves and continue the tradition.  I would especially love to put a flag on my father's grave to honor him for giving up so much of his youth, to fight for our country. As you grow older, and your parents are long gone, you realize what unconditional love was all about and what a void there is in your life when it is gone.

The Calm Before the Storm

I have had writers block the last few months.  It has been extremely hard for me to blog, but I feel that I need to, now more than ever. I have been hiding from life and isolating myself, to the extent that I don't even know who I am anymore. 

To quote one of my favorite artists (the fact that he used real candy for his art and encouraged the public to help themselves is a huge plus) who has always been inspirational to me for what he stood for:

Above all else,

It is about leaving a mark that I existed;

I was here.  I was hungry.  I was defeated.

I was happy.  I was sad. I was in love.

I was afraid.  I was hopeful.

I had an idea and I had a good purpose.

And that's why I made works of art.

        Felix Gonzalez-Torres

              

Illustration Friday - Parade (Rose Parade)

  I lived in Pasadena so long, when I hear the word parade, I immediately think roses.  It is amazing how beautiful the floats are and how much work goes into each and every one. 

It's a Thomas Train Birthday

My God-son turned two years old on Saturday and it was Thomas Train all the way. Having raised two girls, I wasn't familiar with Thomas train and the island of Sodor.  Now I feel that I have a degree in everything Thomas.  Forget Barney, this is one macho icon for boys!!!

It is so great to see the world through a two year old's eyes again.  This time though, I don't have the full time responsibility. Now I can see why grandparents have all the fun.

Santa Monica Pier

I went to a fundraiser at the Santa Monica Pier during the local heat wave, and must admit it wasn't half bad. I didn't have the courage to try the new solar-powered Ferris wheel, but I did play some ski-ball for old times sake. I decided against the cotton candy, though it was tempting, and my teeth thanked me.

It's Hot

Today was a scorcher in Southern California with temperatures in the nineties. Just last week it was so cold we actually had to wear socks with our flip flops. This weekend there was a mad rush to get bikini waxes and pedicures, with Santa Monica becoming one giant tanning bed.

I spent the week before Easter in Palm Springs, where it was equally warm, minus the ocean.  Since Mexico is not a desirable a spot for Spring Break this year, Palm Springs was filled to capacity. I guess that even during a recession, people have to break for Spring.

I'm Back

I took a little hiatus from blogging the last two months for many reasons.  I am back but I'm not sure which direction I want this blog to go. I've lost interest in the many blogs I have been following, and feel that the blog community is a lot more sophisticated than it was when I started this blog two years ago.  In the mean time, I have listed the top ten reasons I have not been blogging the last two months.

1. Had to move out of my apartment in Seal Beach because of a mold problem. Not too good an environment for someone who has allergies, so it has not been easy on my well being.

2. Moved to a place in Santa Monica and I am so thankful to be back where I have always wanted to live.  I lived here before I had children, and my heart stayed behind. 

3. Started school again for web design and realize I hate it as much as ever.

4. Felt my life has gotten so boring that I have nothing to blog about.

5. Got in a car accident for the first time in my life and even thought no one was hurt, my car sure was.

6.Took me this long to stop celebrating the Steeler's winning the Super Bowl.

7. Couldn't tear myself away from watching and reading all the latest on the Octomom.

8. Broke down and got a television after eight months, and realized that I can't do without it.

9. The Internet connection at my new place is awful (thank you Verizon) and it is a pain to try to post.

10.  American Idol

I am sure the three people who read my blog will be happy I am back.

Super Bowl Champions

With this win, Pittsburgh now has more Super Bowl victories than any other team. I have to admit, the Super Bowl always provides a wonderful excuse for a great party.

2012 is the New Y2K

So now the buzz for the next two years, will be about the end of life as we know it, on this great planet earth. According to what you believe, we are either headed for an apocalyptic type end of the world, or an earth shattering enlightenment on December 21, 2012, aka twenty-twelve.

The mythology behind the 2012 enigma focuses on the ancient Mayan Calendar which mysteriously ends on December 21, 2012. Interestingly enough, that date also coincides with the winter solstice, which brings about a predicted "galactic alignment" believed to occur when our solar system passes directly through the Galactic Equator. Pretty scary stuff, right?

But not to worry, because I have it on great authority that there is nothing in Mayan belief that envisages a scenario  which determines the demise of the planet earth and the end of mankind.  Rather, the idea is one of amazing and collective rebirth. A period of new found cosmic awareness. An era in which humanity expands their collective conscious awareness. Kind of like one, big, collective Oprah "AHA" MOMENT, where everyone, everywhere in the Universe will finally get it.

So be prepared, for the next two years you are going to be hearing the following buzz words, ad nausium:

End of mankind, "Sacred Tree", magnetic pole shift, black hole in the Milky Way, reverse rotation, depletion of the ozone, increase in volcanic activity, shift in human consciousness, supernova explosions, torsion waves and so on and so on.  The good news is that It will give everyone something to think about, other than the economy. The bad news is that it will give us one more thing to worry about.  Don't say I didn't warn you.