For the first time in a long time, it rained all day Tuesday and I found myself getting into a dark place. Things are not going well in my life right now, and it is so easy to slip into an isolating, melancholia mood when it's dark and raining. Those of us who live in Southern California are so spoiled by having the sun shine 98% of the year. I know for a fact that I could never live in Seattle, but the times I have been there, I really loved the place. When it is warm and sunny, I like it almost as much as San Francisco. The main reason I couldn't live there is that I don't like coffee!
My computer is dying and has to be replaced. Some people in my life are causing me to be annoyed and angry. I am disappointed in some of the people I care the most about. Basically, I am hurting and just want to isolate and be vulnerable all on my own. I know this will pass, and in the meantime I just keep truging along the road of happy destiny. I escape into my art, and do what gives me the most pleasure in life - create. I did some wreaths in anticipation of Spring and Easter, hoping it would get me out of my funky mood.
So I will just do what I have to do to move on. I can’t escape problems and negativity. Escaping just brings denial and suppression. Ironically, it is my lack of acceptance and resistance to the problem that creates the pain. Resistance builds up a wall or block that, if not discharged, gets suppressed into the body. These blocks identify places where we have not enough understanding or love. The only way for me to feel better is to help someone who needs help. It works every time.