This was a year of growing after staying dormant for so long. I am stronger than I ever thought possible and it makes me wonder why I wasn't strong enough to conquer the depression that had me by the throat for so many years? Was it really depression or self loathing? Was it fear or indifference? Why is life so hard for some of us, while others just catapult from one obstacle to the next, making an adventure out of it all? Why are some people so negative, some so positive?
The hole that I have dug for myself has gotten deeper and harder to get out of. Some days I can't decide if I just want to stay there and sink deeper, or lift myself up to at least see what the world looks like. Fortunately for me, I do get out a lot, and keep so busy that I don't have a moment to think of myself. Is it the best way to cope? I don't know. All I know is that it works for me and by thinking of everyone but myself, I have been happier than I have been in a long, long time. Remove all the negative people from your life and see how fast your energy changes.