Right Brained Gal

Hollywood Exposed

I don't have a high definition plasma television, but I am fortunate enough to have friends who do and were kind enough to have a party for the Academy Awards on Sunday night. I can't tell you how much fun it was to see in detail, every wrinkle, blemish and pore on the faces of Hollywood's elite.  To prevent it from becoming a catty chick party, there was enough testosterone present to make it interesting. In most areas of the country the Academy Awards are considered the Super Bowl for chicks, but in Los Angeles where everyone likes to think they are part of the "industry", men aren't afraid to get into it.

In the past, my HD experience has mostly been limited to football, and even though I am delighted to watch the players in their skin tight pants, I must admit this was even more of a dream come true. High Def has got to be Hollywood's worst nightmare. It puts the stars on a more even footing with the rest of us, because as anyone who has witnessed HD knows, it is very unforgiving.  Movie stars, now more than ever, have to turn to botox injections, sandpaper rubs, and industrial strength air brushed makeup to hide all those years of hard partying.  I must admit, if you are young and beautiful to begin with, it enhances the good qualities, but if you have aging, uneven skin like most people, it magnifies the flaws. It's also obvious which stars OD on make-up and don't even think about showing up with a zit.

I admit I am more interested in the red carpet than the actual ceremony, and I enjoy the justification that money can't buy class or good taste.  Since "who are you wearing?" has been belabored to death, I will only critique the most obvious. Meryl Streep looked like she spends her off-screen time as a school teacher. Poor little Abigail Breslin looked like she was waiting for the Easter bunny and would have rather been home playing video games. Beyonce looked like she had an iguana climbing up her shoulder, Nicole Kidman looked like she was attacked by a Christmas bow and Cameron Diaz's gown reminded me of a straight jacket that she had to be poured into.  Poor Jennifer Hudson looked like she was outfitted by the Jetson's, and I thought we were going to have another wardrobe malfunction while she was performing in her red gown. This morning in Los Angeles, you could hear the collective sigh of relief as hundreds of actresses removed the Spanx undergarments they had been wearing and ate something for the first time in weeks. 

My personal favorites were Leonardo, who could not be more of a hunk, Ben Affleck and of course, George Clooney. I was disappointed that Brad and Angelina weren't there. I have heard that HD is not kind to him and his face is (gasp) pock marked. Of course they say she looks as beautiful as ever. As for the females, Reese, Gwyneth and Penelope were way above all the others and their stylists are guaranteed another year of employment.

Thank goodness the days of recognizing every person you have ever know in an acceptance speech is over, but I wish they would be more honest. This is probably more realistic: I would like to thank my drug dealer for providing me the stamina to get through the day, my publicist for making up shit and feeding my needy ego, my plastic surgeon, which goes without saying, and my stylist for making me look glamorous for a photo that will be shown ad nauseum over the next few months.

It was refreshing to see Helen Mirin, Katherine Deneuve and Diane Keaton, looking great and proving that there is nothing wrong about aging with grace and class. Unlike some others, they do not look like they have been soaking in formaldehyde or walking through a wind tunnel.

All in all it was a boring, predictable show and even though Ellen didn't hit it out of the ball park, she was the highlight of the evening - after the MasterCard elephant commercial.  The Academy Awards show is an excuse to party, eat too much and get together with friends for the sole purpose of dissing all the beautiful people.

Feed a Cold

I haven't had a head cold in five years, but I really made up for it last week.  After partying all weekend with Nyquil Coladas, my house looks like a Kleenex box exploded. It felt like my nostrils had been permanently soldered together, since I couldn't breath out of my nose for forty eight hours.  What made it really difficult was looking out the window, watching people jog by in 80º weather, while I was reduced to watching hours of figure skating on television. Even sitting in a Jet Blue airplane on a runway would have been more fun.  My head was reminiscent of how I felt after a keg party, but this one lasted for three days.

Because of the craving sweets gene that I inherited, when I get a cold, all I want to eat is sugar.  So my diet consisted of, but was not limited to cupcakes, cookies, donuts and banana ice cream (had to get the fruit in there somewhere).  To throw in a little comfort food, I had a baked potato with butter.  I am the only person who gains weight and has a spike in cholesterol level with a head cold.

Luckily, on Saturday, my healthy sensible side took control and I started taking Echinacea with Goldenseal.  I swear this is the best thing in the world for a cold and I promise I was up and around by this morning, breathing normally.  This and daily doses of vitamin C are the reason I hardly ever get sick.  Plus I really do eat healthy when I'm not nursing a cold!

 

Illustration Friday - Gravity

The topic for Illustration Friday is Gravity.  The first thing that comes to mind is the fabulous new song by John Mayer - Gravity.  I love this song even though it is painful to watch him perform it as he did at the Grammy Awards.

Valentine's Day is Almost Like Christmas

I love giving gifts for Valentine's Day.  Everything is so feminine and pink which happens to be my favorite color, not to mention how the holiday centers around my favorite food, chocolate. 

There is a family in our neighborhood that loves to decorate for every holiday.  No matter if it's, Christmas, Halloween, 4th of July, Easter, or Groundhog day this house is always lit up.  Valentine's Day is no exception.  You've got to love their spirit and their energy.

Happy Valentine's Day

It Makes Me Want to Throw Up

I can't stand vomit.  I hate it more than anything, even changing dirty diapers.  Although I hardly ever threw up as a kid, I made up for it in college.  Every weekend there was a line for the porcelain bowls in the dorm after a hard night of partying.  I was always in that line ready to puke my guts out before crawling into bed to pass out. If it was a good night, I even brushed my teeth before hand.

By some miracle, my children hardly ever threw up and if they did, they knew to head for the toilet, so mommy wouldn't puke while cleaning it up - no lie.  The one time a child threw up in my car, it wasn't even mine.  I was carpooling some of my daughter's third grade class to UCLA for a play (a forty five minute drive in traffic which I knew was going to be a plus ten on the stress scale) and on the freeway, halfway there, a little boy threw up all over the car. All six kids started whining and we drove the rest of the way with the windows down.  The teachers were sympathetic, but didn't offer to clean it up. At that moment I knew there was a reason I never had a calling to be a teacher.

Well today was payback time for me. I was with a friend, it was lunch time and he decided he wanted to stop at the  Macaroni Grill for a quick bite to eat.  Since it was extremely busy, the only seats were in the bar area, which was fine since there was a Laker game on TV.  At the table next to us were three eight year old boys in little league uniforms.  It was obvious they had just come from a game and the three gentlemen at the bar drinking beers were their fathers. We watched as the boys consumed a inordinate amount of pizza, fries and cokes.  Just as our food came, one of the boys got a sick look on his face and continued to throw up on the floor right in front of our booth. By the size of the kid, you could tell he really packed away the food, and all of it landed on the floor, in a pile right in front of me.  I couldn't get up or else I would have to step in it, so we had to sit there while they figured out who was in charge of clean up and where the mop was located.  I guess the clean up person only works at night after everyone has gone home. 

As soon as it was cleaned up I insisted we move to another table.  My friend thought I was over reacting, but he really wanted to watch the Laker game.  I never did finish my meal but it didn't stop my friend as he continued to eat as if nothing had happened. The father finally did apologize, but then sent the kid back to the table to finish his coke!

With all the debate going on about cocktail play-dates  and mothers who have a glass of wine in front of the kids, I have to put in my two cents worth.  If it had been three moms instead of three dads, the moms would have found a mop and cleaned it up themselves, apologizing profusely.  They would never have allowed the boys to eat all that junk in the first place, and they would have been paying more attention to the kids instead of watching basketball.  It really bothers me that there is such a double standard when it comes to drinking in front of the kids.  Nobody thinks twice of fathers getting together in a bar, over beers, watching a game on tv, while the kids run wild and eat grease till they throw up.  But let some mothers unwind with a glass of wine while the kids play and people are ready to call Child Services.  What do you have to say about that, Meredith Viera?

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Hot

I talked to my daughter in Chicago yesterday and after hearing her take of the weather there - minus thirty degrees including wind chill factor, I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was miserably hot here in Southern California.  Like ninety degrees hot.  Like having to drive with the air conditioning on, hot.  I feel almost anti-American admitting that I wore my flip flops yesterday. It was only two weeks ago that something happened to me that I never thought I would see in Los Angeles.  I slipped and fell on the ice as I was running to my car one morning.  I kid you not.  It was so cold here, that when the automatic sprinklers went off at 6 a.m. the water on the sidewalk actually froze.  I didn't see it until my ass was on the ground, reminiscing with my brittle tailbone of the winters I spent in Pennsylvania.

The rest of the country doesn't have to worry as we will be getting rain in a few days.  Rain on California roads is equivalent to black ice in the East.  No one can drive in the rain, and it might as well be minus thirty degrees for all the whining that goes on.  People actually call off weddings because of the rain out here.  Seriously, this has been the coldest winter in LA that I can remember, and it reminds me every day of why I moved out west. 

Illustration Friday - Sprout

My entry for this week's Illustration Friday.  Sprout.

Prayers for Jennifer

If you are like me, there are times you feel that life isn't treating you fairly.  You complain about the kids driving you crazy, your partner isn't paying enough attention to you, and you just want to run away from life.  They say no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone who has it worse off than you.  This was confirmed today when I ran across the blog of Jennifer Ireland.  She is a young, beautiful women with two young daughters, a loving husbandand who is dying of cancer.  Her death is imminent, and you can feel all the pain her husband is going through with the beautiful words he writes.  My heart is breaking for them. I was so taken by todays entry, I went to the beginning post and read the whole blog.

If praying is your thing, please say a prayer for Jennifer and her young family.  And don't go to bed without telling yours that you love them. I am going to bed tonight, counting my blessings.

Update:  Jennifer Ireland took her last breath this morning.  My prayers go out to her husband, children, and family. I don't even know her, but through the power of the Internet,  this story has touched thousands of people. 

The Secret is Out

Looking into The Secret was on my to-do list as I was seeing more and more references to it on the Internet.   As a self-help junkie, this sounded like one more step to solving the problems of my life.  Then I heard it was featured on Larry King and even though I missed it, I felt that was a good sign.  A few days before Christmas I was talking to a good friend of mine who was going through a rough time with her boyfriend and she mentioned out of the blue that she had just gotten the movie, The Secret.  I was so excited, I went over to her house the next day to watch it with her.  I was immediately hooked.  I have since gotten my own copy and watch it regularly and I must admit, it seems to be working in my life.  I know that this is not for everyone, but at this point in my life I really need some positive thinking, affirmations and a inspiration for a better outlook on life.

The movie is not actually a movie as much as it is a collage of different people and ideas. The intertwining theme is to not fight the negative, but to concentrate on the positive, because in the end, you attract what you focus on.  The marketing on this DVD has been limited to the Internet, and they have only recently started selling it on Amazon, so it has mainly been word of mouth.  That is about to change, because today they taped a segment for the jackpot of all marketing - the Oprah show.  It was originally going to be shown live, but Oprah wanted to edit it so that she could get the best possible presentation. She is a huge fan and extremely enthusiastic about the concept, so you know what that means. If Oprah says this has changed her life - can mainstream America be far behind?   

Update:  the site where you can watch it for free is back up.   Also, it is going to be aired on Oprah, Thursday, February 8th.