Just as you reach the point in your life when all of your peers are done having babies, and baby showers are just fading memories, you come full circle. The people you knew at one time as buns in the oven, are now producing their own. All of your friends are becoming grandparents and the children your children played with from birth are now having babies. So it starts all over again. The only difference is that the baby's needs have multiplied and now there is a solution for every obvious discomfort the child might encounter. The baby can now swing, bounce, twist, be airborne and never have to have its bottom touched with a cold baby wipe. Forget spontaneous generosity. They now have baby registries so that the mom-to-be can get everything she needs and eliminate the tacky Barney diaper bag, that she would never be caught dead with in the first place.
I usually dislike showers, especially baby ones. A group of women reminiscing about their individual birth experiences, playing silly games, eating fattening food, and spending hours cooing over each gift, is not my idea of female bonding. A few weeks ago, I attended a baby shower for my daughter's sister-in-law, that had the theme of Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Everyone was told to wear a hat. I was the only one out of fifty women not wearing one, and the fact that it was 100 degrees in the shade, just shows the depths women will go to for the mother-to-be. For me it was quite enjoyable because no games were played. No guessing which candy bar is melted in the diaper; which flavor baby food has stained the diaper; and especially no baby bingo.
They had one activity that I did enjoy and that was decorate the baby onesies. Everyone was really creative. This new little boy will be a human billboard for some really bad art work, done by women high on champagne and sugar.
I think it's a shame that men miss out on all this fun and that is why I had coed showers when I was pregnant. They were a lot more fun, even if I was the only one not drinking. Believe me.
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