I haven't felt like blogging this summer, mainly because I have been vacillating with my emotions and I never know what is going to show up on my blog. A few months ago, I heard the words that a woman never wants to hear - "you have breast cancer." It certainly got my attention. From that moment on, I have been going through a myriad of emotions and the majority are not positive.
All in all, I have mostly been in denial, because if you felt as good as I do, combined with boundless enerygy, how could you possibly be harboring something as ominous as cancer in your body? I never had any symptoms forewarning me that something dreadful was going on inside of me.
This summer, I have been keeping as busy as humanly possible, so that I don't have a spare moment to dwell on what is ahead. I have been ignoring the voices in my head that are trying to convince me that I am the victim, because if I do succumb to that theory, I will most definitely lose the battle. I have been somewhat evading questions from friends, mainly because I don't know or what to know the answers. I haven't once contacted Dr. Google for consultation, because I don't want to be overwhelmed or discouraged. I have decided to handle this, one day at a time, and if needed, one minute at a time.
What I do know is that this disease will rob me of my health, my energy, my hair, my spirit and will be the final exam of my life. I feel that my whole life has been one big boot camp of survival, so this should just be one more challenge that I have to face. I just have to remember to not let the fear be greater than the faith. Tomorrow I start my first round of chemotherapy so If you can, please say a prayer for me.